Have you ever had one of those days when your heart wants to curl up and hide? When the world seems too loud, demanding, or overwhelming, you only want to retreat into your shell. If this sounds familiar, you’ve probably experienced what psychologists call an ‘ emotional shut down emotional shutdown.’

Although often misconstrued, this phenomenon is widespread and has significant implications for our mental health and relationships with others. So, let’s dive in and unravel the mystery behind emotional shutdown – what it is, why it happens, and most importantly, how we can better navigate these emotional waters.

What is an Emotional Shutdown?

Emotional shutdown refers to a state where an individual suppresses their feelings or emotions, essentially becoming emotionally numb. This often happens as a defence mechanism during intense stress, fear, or trauma when the emotional burden becomes too overwhelming. Like stonewalling and dissociation, an emotional shutdown can manifest in various ways, such as withdrawal from social interactions, decreased communication, or lack of emotional reactions. Even though it can provide temporary relief, chronic emotional shutdown can harm a person’s mental health and interpersonal relationships.^[1]

Physical Manifestation of Emotional Shutdown

Cortisol and adrenaline, the body’s primary stress hormones, play a vital role in emotional shutdown. While they are essential for short-term stress, chronic emotional shutdowns can lead to health issues. Managing emotional shutdown is crucial for healthier relationships^[2]and preventing adverse health effects from chronic stress.

According to a 2016 study that monitored 156 couples for 15 years, the emotional shutdown was linked to acute musculoskeletal complaints such as backaches, stiff necks, and generalised muscle pains.^[3]

Symptoms of Emotional shutdown

Signs of emotional shutdown on your behaviour^[1]:

Lack of emotional responsiveness: Individuals may be unable to feel joy, sadness, or other emotions.
Feeling detached or disconnected: They might feel like they’re observing their own life from a distance or through a glass wall.
Physical numbness or tingling: Some people might experience physical sensations associated with emotional numbness.
Difficulty with memory or concentration: Emotional shutdown can affect cognitive functions.
Lack of interest or motivation: Activities that once brought pleasure might not hold the same appeal.
Frequent vague or unexplained physical symptoms may include headaches, stomach aches, or fatigue.
Emotional exhaustion: A feeling of being emotionally drained all the time.
Indifference towards plans: They might not care or envision future events or outcomes.
Inability to express emotions: Difficulty in expressing feelings or emotions when it is usually appropriate.

Emotional Shut down As A Self Coping Mechanism

Emotional shutdown often serves as a self-coping mechanism, a way for the mind to protect itself from emotional discomfort or trauma. When we encounter situations beyond our emotional capacity, our brain may temporarily switch off our emotions, creating a state of emotional shutdown or disconnect. This is akin to the body’s physical response to danger—fight or flight; only in this case, it’s fight, flight, or freeze.

While this emotional withdrawal may provide immediate relief, enabling us to navigate a stressful situation, it can become problematic if it becomes a chronic response. Over time, frequent emotional shutdowns can lead to various mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, and may also harm our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. Understanding this can be the first step toward developing more beneficial coping strategies and emotional resilience.

Why do people get emotionally shut down?

Interpersonal conflicts and dysfunctional relationships can trigger an emotional shutdown, leaving us feeling helpless, frustrated, and disconnected. Constant arguments, criticism, or emotional neglect can take their toll, leaving us longing for safety and understanding.

For some, certain mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, or personality disorders can make emotional shutdown more likely. These conditions can make it challenging to process and communicate emotions effectively, intensifying the need to withdraw.

Societal and cultural factors play a role in the emotional shutdown. In societies that view emotional expression as a weakness, conforming to these expectations can lead to shutting down our emotions.

Understanding the root causes of the emotional shutdown is vital. It empowers us to develop effective coping strategies and seek our needed support.